Dear Lady Gaga,
Love you, really I do. You’ve done more for LGBT equality than all of the Gay Inc. organizations combined. I don’t begrudge you any of your success, and I even bought a few of your songs on iTunes. Unlike the other pop princesses who pay lip service to LGBT rights, you actually do something about it, and that’s commendable.
I just listened to your new single Born This Way, and yes, it is going to be the new gay anthem to be played in gay dance clubs for the next five years at least. I am sure it will also play in gyms across the country (including mine.) But Gaga, between you, me, and the millions of other people who have noticed this already, your song already was a gay anthem back in 1989 when it was called Express Yourself. Please stop ripping off Madonna. It’s been pretty obvious for some time; I was just too polite to say something.
If you start dancing in front of burning crosses, kissing a saint, and giving yourself stigmata while a gospel choir sings in the background, I may have to reconsider our relationship.