Kelly Clarkson, Who Do You Think You Are?

It’s back!  The faux-Americana, the not-so-widely beloved most-beloved celebrities who know almost nothing about history, the unnecessary narrative recaps, the unsurprising cliffhangers, the overt manipulation, the mistakes, the copious Ancestry and Apple plugs.  Admit it, you too missed the show genealogists claim to love but should secretly hate.

Like Lazarus, Who Do You Think You Are returns from the dead, resurrected by the desperate people at Ancestry.com and the ironically-titled Learning Channel (TLC to the rest of us; any channel that showcases Sister Wives has given up any right to the word “learning.”)  In my recaps of the last iteration of the show, I wrote at length about the disadvantage the American version has by being at the mercy of network television and commercial sponsors as opposed to the BBC version which is broadcast by state television.  But I also wonder if the quality of celebrity the British version gets is better.  For example, while Americans all know Jerry Springer and everyone everywhere knows who J.K. Rowling is, are Dave Suchet and Ainsley Harriott the equivalent of what the American show has dredged up in recent seasons or are they actually well-regarded?   This season’s list though is easily the worst given the show’s fallen reputation (and lacking NBC forcing its biggest names to participate).  Chelsea Handler?  Chris O’Donnell?  These are some of America’s most beloved celebrities?  (It could be worse though; last season Paula Deen was on the show.)

Previous season openers have not been particularly strong, and this season is no different.  There are two good reasons for that: (1) Kelly Clarkson and her music are not particularly interesting; and (2) there was no authentic connection to her story.  With regard to the first reason, I am not a Kelly Clarkson fan.  I never watched American Idol, her songs annoy me at the gym, and I was one of the many, many people who left the Presidential Inauguration the moment she started to sing.  (Nothing against her per se, but the President already gave his speech, the sound system was terrible, and I had no connection to her that would make me want to stay on the National Mall in the cold.)  This is the grain of salt you need to take to continue on with the review.  If you are a Kelly Clarkson fan, I would suggest that you find another review.

As to the second reason the episode was not interesting, well this is a consistent problem that this show has a few times every season.  Episodes that focus solely on one ancestor are high-risk/high-reward.  Following one ancestor can work beautifully when the ancestor in question has a real, tangible, connection to the week’s celebrity such Rita Wilson’s father or Susan Sarandon’s missing grandmother.  But when the lone ancestor is someone from the very distant past, the story is claustrophobic.  The celebrity (and audience) connection is academic rather than emotional and thus feels akin to a something in a Howard Zinn book, only sanitized for television.  This was the problem of this episode.  Who was Isaiah R. Rose?  Kelly Clarkson’s 3rd great-grandfather, coal miner, soldier, sheriff, and one-term state Senator.  It’s nice, but it feels more like an attempt to tell an heroic American story rather than Kelly Clarkson’s.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This episode had perhaps the oddest opening of any I’ve seen.  (Not in structure though, there was a parent who starts the celebrity on a journey, and the contractual Ancestry and Apple plugs about 3 minutes in.)  It was odd because Kelly Clarkson’s mother, who has an interest in genealogy, already did the research and basically told her daughter, “This is my great-great-grandfather Isaiah Rose.  He is the only person with an interesting story, so research him.”  The fact that Clarkson’s mother knew the information already makes the episode redundant and unnecessary.  It also reminded me of my law school classes where the professor had an answer in mind but tortured some poor pathetic student with a Socratic inquisition rather than just tell everyone what he was actually thinking.  So when Kelly’s mom told her that she would just have to go to Isaiah Rose’s home state of Ohio, I wondered if it were possible for this show’s ticks to get even more annoying.

Isaiah Rose, who had been a coal miner, enlisted in the Union Army right after hte attack on Fort Sumter.  Kelly, now in Columbus, Ohio, wanted to know if he enlisted because he was a patriot.  The poor historian, who knew better than to try and get into the head of an unknown figure who left no writings about the topic demurred, but then broadly hinted that, yes, it was because, like most Ohioans at the time, he was a patriot.  (Ohio was also where some of the most prominent anti-war Copperheads lived, but why spoil a good story?)  Patriotic Isaiah not only enlisted, he reenlisted.  He fought at a battle in Decatur, Georgia and was captured.  I immediately wondered if he was sent to Andersonville, but Kelly Clarkson, who judging from this episode, knows absolutely nothing about history beyond North=freedom=Woooo!, South=slavery=Boooo!, did not ask any such questions.  The historian in Columbus told her to go to Decatur and then she and Kelly hugged.

Kelly actually goes to Atlanta where Professor Timothy Orr (and the narrator) describe the Civil War and Sherman’s March to the Sea, to which the battle in Decatur was a precursor.  Orr then goes on to slightly exaggerate the importance of the battle in which Isaiah Rose fought.  The long and short of it, as Kelly understood it, is that if it were not for Isaiah Rose’s sacrifice, the South would have won the Civil War.  Who knew?  After a little research on Ancestry.com, it turns out that Isaiah Rose was indeed in Andersonville, and Kelly had never heard of it.

Every story needs a little suspension of disbelief, but if Kelly and Orr used Ancestry, then couldn’t Kelly’s mother, who is supposedly an Ancestry subscriber, also have found that out?  In fact, much of the information about Isaiah Rose used on the show was on Ancestry already, and I learned that from about 5 minutes of independent research.  This laziness makes the episode meaningless.  On the other hand, it makes me feel simultaneously both good and depressed about about my own research; a team of genealogists and historians working for months will be unable to find anything more out than I have already on my own.

Kelly sets out to Andersonville.  Professor Timothy Orr stays behind “to see what he could find” as though it weren’t already found.  Kelly describes her hesitation about going to Andersonville because it would be so sad to go to a place where people suffered for “our freedom”.  I wonder if she realizes that Andersonville is no longer a POW camp, and hasn’t been for almost 150 years.  Also, I take exception to “our freedom.”  The Confederates fought to keep African-Americans enslaved; they were not looking to chain up dyed-blond singers whose ancestors came from Northern states.  Also, Union soldiers generally did not join the Army to end slavery; they enlisted to forcibly keep the Confederacy within the United States.  The point is that while, at its core, the Civil War was about slavery, ending slavery was not generally why soldiers enlisted.

At Andersonville, Kelly got a history lesson from primary sources that the park ranger just happened to have on hand.  She learns that Isaiah Rose escaped from Andersonville in September 1864.  Nevertheless, we have to go back to Professor Timothy Orr in Atlanta to find out how Isaiah Rose escaped.  Orr gave Kelly what he stayed around to find (or, you know, found months ago but did not disclose for the sake of story), which was Isaiah Rose’s Civil War pension file.  For anyone who has a Civil War soldier ancestor, this is one of the first things you would look for.  My ancestors started arriving well after the Civil War ended, and I know that.

According to the pension file, Isaiah Rose suffered a permanent disability (completely with diagram of injury and surgeon’s certificate) after being shot by a fellow Union soldier who mistook him for a Confederate.  This reminded Kelly of a Patty Griffin song.  Because Kelly Clarkson is a singer.  Anyway, the file moved Kelly to tears because, at least according to her own inner logic, her great-great-great-grandfather’s injury led to Obama getting elected (and then reelected complete with an Inauguration where she sang).  Professor Timothy Orr said that Isaiah Rose would be proud of her and Kelly humbly demurred.  I’m with her on that.

Kelly decided that she wants to know what happened to Isaiah Rose after the war, probably because there’s still twenty minutes left to the show and presumably no one else in her family is interesting.  So she went to Marietta, Ohio and meets with genealogist D. Josh Taylor who showed her that Isaiah Rose was elected (and reelected) sheriff.  This was very exciting to Kelly, so much so that she screamed out (in a library) “Like Tombstone?!?”   I was deeply disappointed when Taylor did not scream, “No, not like Tombstone, you ignoramus!”  A sheriff in 19th Ohio was not like a sheriff in 19th century Arizona.  More politicking and much less mythos.

It turns out that Isaiah Rose was subsequently elected as a Republican state Senator which, to the strains of swelling background music, makes Kelly visibly proud (because like him, and everyone else in this family whom she didn’t bother to research, she’s driven and hardcore).  And then she went back to Columbus as her journey’s full circle starts to close where she entered the Ohio Senate Chamber (“his office”) where Isaiah Rose once sat for a brief one term.  She asked what legislation he wrote, which apparently is something legislators used to do in the long-forgotten past.  And it turned out he did do something; he was a temperance advocate and passed a law that aided in the closing of saloons.  At the mention of temperance, you could practically see Kelly Clarkson’s face fall, which is something I knew would happen.  I also knew that the temperance movement was both: (1) a way of bashing of immigrants; and (2) an early form of feminism predicated on the idea that limiting alcohol was a way to make lives better for women, particularly poor women.  Which is also why the Women’s Christian Temperance Union was a hotbed of first wave feminists.  (We’ve seen this before in this show in a much better episode.)  The historian in the Chamber tried to explain this to Kelly Clarkson, who took this as proof positive that Isaiah Rose cared deeply about women’s issues (no one ever mentions the immigrants).  That made her happy to hear that the bill passed–after a not-so-dramatic commercial cliffhanger–and the Governor signed it into law.

Practically telegraphing what happened next, Kelly went on and on about how amazing it was that her ancestor passed such a major bill as a freshman Senator, and he must have made many enemies.  Oh, by the way, did he get reelected?  Nope.  The liquor industry targeted him and he lost by just over 30 votes.  (Unmentioned by the historian, but in the article he showed Kelly, is that Isaiah Rose contested the result.)  About eight years later he died and was buried in a nearby cemetery.  Kelly visits his grave at the cemetery where it turns out the entire family is buried.  She talks to Isaiah, completely ignoring his poor ignored wife who is buried with him.

Then Kelly went back to her mother and told her everything about the journey. To her credit, Kelly’s mother sort of pretends she doesn’t already know any of this.  Even more to her credit, she knew what Andersonville was.  She even cried a little for some reason, although I refuse to believe that any of this was new to her.  All that is left is for Kelly Clarkson to spout the mandatory platitudes about how great it was to learn about her family even though, as far as I can tell, she learned about one family member and no one else.

Next week: From Kelly Clarkson to Kelly Bundy.  Christina Applegate is the next celebrity detective.

6 responses to “Kelly Clarkson, Who Do You Think You Are?

  1. I agree 100 percent. She is such an annoying moron in this episode. The whole episode was so contrived and i cant believe her ancestor won the civil war all by himself thereby allowing obama to be the first black president

  2. Okay, admittedly I am a fan of Kelly Clarkson but I am interested in your review, so I’ll continue anyway. BTW, I noticed the difference in the intro as well and thought they’d done that intentionally to educate newbies to Ancestry. I had the same thought regarding picking Isaiah Rose, was he picked because he was most interesting?

    I thought you nailed the review! Kelly seemed quite ditzy, in my opinion and it seemed that all the historians were holding back gush over her celebrity status, something I hadn’t observed in other episodes.
    Here are some random thoughts that came as I watched the episode and then read your review.

    1) I had seen pension files listed but did not understand the significance of them or information which could be collected from them. So I found mention of this to be helpful.

    2) Completely agree with all comments regarding the Temperance Movement, Helen Hunt’s episode was the best of what has been offered in this series.

    3) Though I prefer”just the facts” I could relate to this episode in several ways. I have found families of ancestors by visiting their home county’s and it is quite moving to do so. I also have prominent family in Marietta, though when I checked they came after Isaiah Rose had died, so no connections were found.

  3. Your review was right on. Kelly sounded like a hyper, ignorant teen ager. There’s a time to be somber and a time to be gleeful. Kelly chose gleeful as her default emotion. And how did you restrain yourself from mentioning in your review that Kelly stood in front of her “3x great grandfather” ‘s grave and greeted him with a “What’s up?” ? She made me cringe numerous times during this episode.
    You are a great reviewer and a great writer. Thanks for the review.

  4. The oddest thing to me about this storyline is that they left out a lot of interesting elements of Isaiah’s life and inserted filler instead. When Isaiah was captured, his brother in the same company was killed.

    Also, after his failed re-election he served on the board for Ohio’s state penitentiary. The former site of the penitentiary is now home to Columbus’s NHL team, named after a term for Ohio’s Civil War soldiers. FULL. CIRCLE. Somewhere my family has a copy of an old newspaper featuring an interview with Isaiah and some young guards discussing life in Andersonville.

    My point is, dude was my ggg-grandfather too and I could’ve made that story WAY more interesting.

  5. Pingback: Chris O’Donnell, Who Do You Think You Are? | tracingthetree

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