This Australian ad has been making the rounds among the gay blogs, and with good reason.
Along with some excellent anti-discrimination ads from Argentina, this Australian spot shows what other countries are doing to promote acceptance and equality.
One wonders why US LGBT groups cannot or will not use their resources for something similar.
This week my boyfriend and I were talking about Black Friday. He wanted to do some shopping, and I told him that I would not leave the house. Black Friday is too crazy, and it is best to stay indoors. I am not sure when this day after-Thanksgiving shopping mania started (the tradition of Black Friday predates me–at least locally if not nationally), but it seems like in the past few years Black Friday has taken on a life of its own. Black Friday has completely subsumed Thanksgiving–the actual holiday is now mere prelude to the Christmas shopping that commences the next day.
My boyfriend and I were talking about how awful it was that Target forced employees to end their Thanksgiving early so that the retail giant could open at midnight. I said to my boyfriend that I had an idea for a television advertisement: a bunch of people are sitting at a dinner table screaming at one another save for one poor person huddled in her chair. Then we hear a narrator who says, “Need to get away from your family? Wal-Mart is now open on Thanksgiving.”
Wal-Mart did open on Thanksgiving. And so did other major retailers. The truth though is that Black Friday has not just subsumed Thanksgiving, it has taken over the week before and the month after. But there is something about Black Friday that makes people grow crazy, and every year there are problems that make the headlines. This year it was some crazy woman in a California who pepper-sprayed other shoppers at a Wal-Mart. It has been called “competitive shopping,” which is apparently a new euphemism for assault and battery. That was only the most infamous incident though; there were others.
Look, I understand that this is not the Black Friday norm. The vast majority of people don’t pepper spray their fellow shoppers no matter how good the deals might be. But regardless of whether there is a violent incident or not, the collective cultural materialism from which this springs is out of control.
Don’t get me wrong; I like buying stuff too, and I understand the need to save money on good deals. But there is nothing that I want enough and no deal sweet enough for me to pitch a tent outside a store just so that I could enter a store at 5 am. And certainly not to attack another shopper with pepper spray. These actions speak to an almost Ayn Randian level of selfishness that is apparently acceptable in our culture now (although one particular woman will probably be using the money she saved for legal fees) even though it is not outright approved.
The America that I grew up is has always been selfish to some extent. I grew up in the 80′s, the “Me Decade,” and the self-involvement has only gotten worse since then. In the last decade or so though materialism has reached an astounding level. Not just in terms of shopping but also in terms of our politics. It’s why a significant faction of one of the two major parties is calling for the end of our social welfare programs. We don’t care about each other anymore, only ourselves. Who cares if the elderly suffer because they have no money or the poor (working or otherwise) die because they have no healthcare so long as I can buy a high-definition television? This is the United States 2011, and it’s a scary place. The holiday season is a visible symptom of that selfishness because that is when the retailers work hardest to convince us that greed is good.*
Recently there has been a push back against this self-centered mindset, but it’s unfocused and headed by deeply controversial (and frankly confused) people. Occupy Wall Street people occupied, well I’m not exactly sure what or what their goals were, but they started Occupy Black Friday. Supposedly it has something to do with hurting the 1%, although I am not sure that holding signs outside of Wal-Mart and shopping at Mom and Pop stores one day out of the year is meaningful action (even from a symbolic point of view.)
I would make a suggestion. Rather than buy stuff, why not go out to do some actual good for the community. Or perhaps donate to a charity in a loved one’s name. (I recommend the Ali Forney Center. They do important work, and they need support.)
Although there has been some reaction against the Black Friday mentality in the media, for the most part it has been muted. I saw one essay in Salon that echoes my concerns. But mostly, the negativity this year seems to me to be in articles about how turkey is actually not all that good, is too dry, cannot be cooked right, and makes for bad leftovers. Perhaps this isn’t surprising given how the media is largely owned by corporations. They are no less consumer-driven than retailers.
This is only going to get worse. Maybe there will not be competitive shopping next year, but over-abundant greed and selfishness do not just go away once the new year arrives. The holiday season is turning a mirror on American society, and I for one fear and dislike what I see.
Footnotes:
* And my God, do they have to only play Christmas music both in the stores and on the radio stations for a full month? Does anyone actually like that? I find it completely unbearable.
I really have been asleep at the wheel. I recently wrote about how happy I was about American Samoa’s first ever international win. However, I missed this aspect of the story, which makes their win all the better.
There was bizarre double celebration in American Samoa this week as the tiny nation, who are ranked as the joint-worst international team in the world in FIFA’s standings, not only won their first match for 17-years but did so by fielding the first ever transgender player in an official match.
Defender Johnny “Jayieh” Saelua helped the Samoans, ranked 204th, beat the mighty Tonga, ranked 202nd, 2-1 in an Oceania 2014 World Cup qualifier to end a run of 30 consecutive defeats. And, during the jubilant scenes that greeted the final whistle, head coach Thomas Rongen declared: “I’ve really got a female starting at centre back. Can you imagine that in England or Spain?”
Although that’s not strictly true as Saelua is part of the fa’afafine – biological males who have a strong feminine gender orientation and identify as a third sex that is widely accepted in Polynesian culture. However, the defender was raised as a woman and said after the match: “The team accept me and we have that mutual respect. Which is great. It’s all part of the culture.”
Brilliantly, Saelua was also named ‘Man of the Match’ after providing an assist and making a goal-line clearance in the dying seconds of the game.
I’ve mentioned this before, but once again an idiotic ignoramus does not know what the First Amendment actually says. According to Towleroad, the rapper T.I. has a lot to say about gay people and the First Amendment. Specifically:
While T.I. makes clear that he supports anyone’s sexual preference, he then connects, in his opinion, a current oversensitivity among gay people with a consequential and ironic offense of the First Amendment. “They’re like,‘If you have an opinion against us, we’re gonna shut you down.’ … That’s not American. If you’re gay you should have the right to be gay in peace, and if you’re against it you should have the right to be against it in peace.’
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
I don’t know how I missed this (damn work!) but the American Samoa national football team finally won its first match. I mean its first match ever–at least in terms of matches sanctioned by FIFA. This is after almost two decades and over 30 attempts. In fact, I don’t think they ever even drew a match before.
I love rooting for the football minnows, and they don’t get smaller than American Samoa, whom the BBC so delicately referred as the world’s worst team. (Rankings-wise this is accurate, but it’s still mean.) Finally the team beat Tonga 2-1. Match reports say that the team celebrated as though they had won the World Cup, which is understandable given the team’s history of futility. Yesterday they drew the Cook Islands 1-1, so thus far in this World Cup qualification campaign they are undefeated.
The last time American Samoa was in the news was in 2001 for the infamous 31-0 loss to Australia’s second string team. It is to date the worst drubbing in international football history (breaking the previous record of 22-0 which Australia had set against Tonga two days prior). American Samoa instantly because the butt of all jokes, which is actually rather unfair because it ignores the full story of the match. The American Samoa team was ridiculously understrength because of passport issues and high school exams, and for a territory which (a) is tiny and (b) cares far less for football that for American football, basketball, and baseball, that was a fatal death knell. A few of the fielded players were as young as 15, and some had never played a 90 minute match before. Truth be told, 31-0 probably flattered the American Samoan team almost as much as it did the Australians.
The other part of the story is that Australia deliberately ran up the score, and not because the Socceroos were jealous of how many points the Wallabies score in a typical rugby union match. At the time Australia were in the OFC, which is by far the weakest conference in FIFA. Not surprisingly, Australia had only appeared once at the World Cup–in 1974. Despite the 31-0, Australia still missed out on the World Cup (Uruguay beat them over two legs in a playoff). Australia knew that staying in the OFC would only hinder its development, and like with American Samoa, football was competing for attention and resources with far more popular sports. Changes were made for the next cycle, but finally Australia left the OFC for the AFC, a conference far more suited to a developing football nation with legitimate World Cup qualification hopes. This was only fair.
Unfairly, American Samoa became a worldwide laughingstock, forever associated with the 31-0. There is a very moving essay by the writer Ben Rice in the book The Thinking Fan’s Guide to the World Cup in which that match play. Following the loss, the-then American Samoa coach Tony Langkilde said of the match and his team:
It is a learning curve. We are a member of FIFA and we have a right to play. We are very happy to be here and to build from here. I do not think we are downhearted. The only way is forward.
(p. 63)
As soon as I read that quote, I developed a deep affection for American Samoa. I hoped that one day the world would see them move forward. Finally it has.
Although I prefer La Liga to the English Premier League, only a churl would ignore the EPL, especially since this portends to be the season that Manchester City arrives for real. It’s been coming for some time, and given the amount of petrodollars that has been pumped into the club, one could argue that it’s actually two seasons overdue. Nevertheless, this season is starting to shape up into a one-horse race. Yes there is only 5 points between City and the team in second place (archenemy Manchester United), but City’s dominance thus far has been near total.
To wit, the teams in second, third, and fourth place are (respectively) United, Tottenham Hotspur, and Newcastle United. As of this week, City has beaten them (respectively) 6-1, 5-1, and 3-1. No doubt the defeat of Manchester United was the most satisfying of the victories (at Old Trafford of all places) as well as the most comprehensive in score. Yet the fact that City have so thoroughly dominated their closest competitiors does not tell the whole story. As of now, 12 rounds of matches have been played in the EPL, and City have won 11 of them (the other was an away draw to Fulham). This is a ridiculously good start to the season by any standard, and better than both Barcelona and Real Madrid over in La Liga.
Even more impressive is that all of this comes despite the fact that last season’s talisman/resident-locker-room-poison has completely fallen out with the club in a saga that has made everyone involved look bad. Yet, the squad talent is so sparkling that one suspects that pretty soon wannabe champions are going to start beginning to come to the blue half of Manchester instead of the red half. City are thoroughly dominating the EPL and (once they get their act together and learn how to play in Europe) may well be the only team that can possibly challenge Barcelona/Real Madrid duopoly of the Champions League. Carlos Who?
Now this being City, all of this can go awry tomorrow. Certainly City fans are familiar with heartache and despair even if they have not reconciled themselves to it. And I continue to think that the Oil-garchs are destroying the game with their uncontrolled spending. Nevertheless, a City triumph is a good thing. For the past two decades, England has had fewest clubs win the national championship than any other major football nation in Western Europe. There have only been four. Blackburn Rovers, Arsenal, Chelsea, and of course United who have dominated the competition. Perhaps the fifth team is finally ready to break through.
And perhaps Ian Ayre will rue his open desire to structure the EPL’s television deals like La Liga’s. Because once City becomes a recognized worldwide brand, which it will, then it too would demand a share of those rights. Which means that with City, United, Chelsea, and Arsenal all competing at the top-level, Liverpool may very well be the ones left out in the cold. Liverpool is the past; City is the future.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I have not listened to World Football Daily since Robert Burns left. It is nothing against the show or its new hosts, but rather I went on vacation just before he left, and when I am on vacation, my podcasts tend to build up. Now I am in the process of winnowing down my backlog.
I cannot offer any opinion as to whether Sophie and Martin are any good. On Big Soccer the general consensus is no, although I have not had a problem with either in the past (perhaps two British hosts–again–is a bit much.) There seems however, to be a lot of ugliness going on. Kenny Hassan, who swore up and down that he was leaving the show on good terms, reinstated his Twitter account and has since criticized the show (fairly nastily) and dropped hints that he is starting a new one.
I have my qualms with WFD. When I signed up, I knew what I was buying into–a show owned and produced by two guys who had previously hosted the same show (for free) on Sirius. There were times I was exasperated by the show, but they had quality guests so all was good. Shortly after Steven Cohen left last April, things changed. There was a new mysterious owner, and I don’t know who it is (and that really bothers me because I like knowing where my money goes.) Then Kenny left. Then the video podcasts stopped. Extra shows came and disappeared to be replaced by new ones (and none of them interest me). The show feels completely different now, and I am not loving it.
However, I don’t blame the hosts. This is a management problem through and through. I feel like I bought into something and then the rug was pulled out from under me. Which means that ultimately it is Steven and Kenny who are to blame for failing to follow through on the vision that they sold. I have no idea whether I will continue my subscription when it ends. There are a zillion football podcasts out there, and a few of them are even worth listening to. They are all free if not daily. I’ll give the new show a chance, but I wonder if perhaps it is my turn to also follow Steven and Kenny and leave.
And by the way, if Kenny (or Steven) starts a new podcast, I’m not following. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Yesterday I wrote a post about Salon news editor Steve Kornacki’s essay in which he described living his life in the closet and publicly came out. My boyfriend read it a couple of hours ago. Jokingly I said, “I wasn’t too mean, was I?” My boyfriend responded, “Maybe a little.” I was horrified.
So let me say apologize up front. Steve, if you are reading this, I deeply and truly apologize for being mean. It was not my intention. I am a big fan of your writing, and I wish you the best. I think that it was brave of you to so publicly reflect on, evaluate, and expose your inner life the way you did. I do not want to you to think that I am belittle your internal struggles. Coming out is hard, no matter who, where, or when you are. Although I have seen many positive comments toward you, I have also seen some really nasty ones from within the LGBT community, and I don’t want you to think that I think that way.
Having said that, I take back the ambivalence I expressed on reading your essay. It was heartfelt and it was beautifully sad. It was also very difficult to read because it was filled with internalized homophobia and self-loathing. The Internet commentators who made me cringe, that’s what they were reacting to. Internet posting boards are not known for nuance, and the activist element of the LGBT community tends to think in extremes. Hence the rage and anger (and also the outright, uncritical adulation.)
I really hope that you are able to find the happiness that your fear robbed you of for so many years. I look forward to a follow-up in a few years time where you actually get to reflect on yourself as an openly gay man and what your path has been since you came out. After you finally moved beyond the bad feelings. You’re a terrific writer and thinker; I can’t wait to read it.
It’s like gays are falling from the sky. (Sorry to those of you who are sick of coming out stories. Work life has kept me away from football, so my Barcelona analysis is practically non-existent.) Steve Kornacki, the news editor of Salon came out in an essay that is very well-written, but also a little difficult at times. A lot of the self-loathing that he has felt throughout the past fifteen years or so is very much apparent in his story despite his assertion that he has moved on.
One never wants to criticize someone’s coming out, especially when one does so in such a public manner. It was very brave of him, and I commend him for the courage and honesty that it took. His job is not in jeopardy because of his sexual orientation (he works at Salon after all), but he had to fight his personal demons, and that’s a difficult battle that gets worse as one gets older.
One thing that Kornacki doesn’t explain though, and I wish he did, is why he came out so publicly. He writes:
This isn’t the start of some brand-new life. I actually like a lot about the one I already have. But now the fear and paranoia are gone. And my life can finally make sense to the people who matter to me.
Kornacki is not a celebrity; he is a writer and a sometimes pundit. I only know him from his byline, and I never thought about his sexual orientation once. I imagine I am not alone. Being gay does not affect the content of what he writes or his style. His personal life is, unlike actors, sports stars, and other public figures, truly personal. So I am curious why the need to write in long form about his struggles with sexual identity. This isn’t meant to be a criticism; I am genuinely interested to know his motivation for coming out to the public the way he did. Are the readers of Salon people who matter to him? If so, thank you, but I suspect the truth is that even though Kornacki took pains in his essay to point out how straight-acting he is (he does watch ESPN after all), he does have a touch of the drama queen in him.
There has a spate of coming outs in the past few months, particularly among men. I wonder how much of it is due to the suicides, the bullying, and the It Gets Better Project, which may very well as much for adults as for teenagers.
This week David Testo, formerly of the Montreal Impact, came out. It’s made some noise in the gay press, but for the most part, it has passed with relatively little notice.* In a way this is progress. Testo plies his trade in the USL, which is a lower tier of the American soccer pyramid than MLS. In contrast, when Anton Hysén, who plays in something like the fourth tier of Swedish football came out, it was world news. I guess that when the second player comes out, and it is no longer a major story. (Hysén’s father was a former player for Liverpool FC, which may have contributed to the amount of coverage of his story.) It is important to recognize however, that neither Testo nor Hysén plays in his nation’s premier league or national team let alone starring for one of the world’s most prominent clubs.
In all honestly, I had never heard of David Testo before this week. He has not played in MLS since 2005 (before I started watching), and even then played only briefly for the Columbus Crew. Although the Montreal Impact are about to join MLS, Testo has been released from the team, which is unfortunate timing. He is 30 years old and a journeyman; he will not be football’s first openly gay star. A decent guy no doubt, a role model for sure, and a hero to a ready-made fan base (which includes me) definitely. But not a star.
None of this should take away from Testo’s bravery. He is a pioneer–an active openly gay player in a team sport, and a team sport that is followed more devoutly worldwide than any religion. Testo still has a career ahead of him, whatever club and league he plays for. He will finish his career as an openly gay player.
He could have played it safe; he did not have to come out. Instead he was true to himself. Eventually. What struck me most is what he said:
“I really do regret not having come out earlier,” he added. “It’s something that I’ve struggled with my whole life and career.”
How many times has a gay former athlete in a team sport said that players should stay in the closet because of homophobia? Finally an active player publicly regrets not coming out sooner, the only possible rejoinder to this “stay in the closet” mentality. Rather than focusing on the homophobia of the locker room, the fans, or the sponsors, Testo’s story is about dealing with his own internal struggles and finally overcoming them.
Testo was not living the secret gay existence. Rather he was openly gay, just not to the public at large. (Former teammates have praised Testo and given their support. One of them even said that he did not realize Testo’s sexual orientation was a secret.) He was living in the same glass closet occupied until recently by Zachary Quinto. Like with Quinto, honesty and integrity prevailed.
The interview that Testo gave to the CBC was very moving, and his emotion, particularly his regret, was much apparent. It reminded me of the equally emotional video from the gay Australian former field hockey player Angus “Gus” Johnston. Johnston too was visibly distraught by his inability to come out while an active player. Coming out, even after his playing days had ended, was still difficult; yet he did it and he did it in a very public way. It’s admirable.
Athletics, particularly team sports, is the last bastion of the masculine ideal. (Women’s sports are a unique subset with a different dynamic in regard to gender and gender roles. That is a topic for another post.) When a player does not live up to that ideal, whether or not sexuality is at issue, he feels compelled to disguise what his world considers his deficiencies. This feeling of not living up to the ideal is the root cause for why team sports have yet to have an openly gay player at the upper echelons. It is perpetuated by the fans who perhaps need their athletes to embody everything that the fans themselves wish to be but are not. And at the highest levels there is a lot of money involved. This masculine ideal is false though; Platonic perfection does not exist, yet that is exactly why the previous generation of gay athletes who came out publicly–Kopay, Bean, et al–tacitly or explicitly advocated the next generation to stay in the closet. The message: subvert yourself to perpetuate the ideal.
But the cracks in the ideal have started to show. Johnston publicly stated he regrets not being honest while a player. Tesko regrets not being honest from earlier in his playing days. Hysén, who is not yet 21, is already out and has a whole career ahead of him. And of course there is Saint Gareth, who just last month retired from rugby, that most brutal and masculine of all sports, and who lived an honest life as an openly gay man for nearly the last two years of his time as a player.
Slowly, perhaps at a glacial pace comes the change. But it is coming.
Footnotes:
* There were some stories in newspapers and blogs, but no major headlines. There was a question about David Testo on this past week’s World Football Phone-In. Sean Wheelock had some very nice things to say about Testo, and Tim Vickery said that no way could a footballer (unlike a volleyballer) come out in South America.
